I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
