Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
