I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
