She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
