I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
