THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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