He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
