She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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