My cat gives me a boner
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
