Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize