We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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