Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
