You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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