I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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