Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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