I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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