This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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