HIV tests are more positive than that guy
babies were throwing up all over the place
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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