i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
