normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My vagina just clenched in fear
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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