And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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