I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize