Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
nutella sex= disaster
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
