it wasn't lemon gatorade
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
