Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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