The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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