this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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