i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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