I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
