well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
