My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize