I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
