I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
