my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize