Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
