Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
