Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
NoShamevember. You game?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
