oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
