he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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