: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
