i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
