In the future we'll all be gay
Quick, to the slutcave!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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