fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
