See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
