Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize