Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just blew my weed a kiss
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
