I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
