Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize