you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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