you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
