What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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