maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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