Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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