you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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