So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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