And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
