you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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