Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
