I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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