Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
