my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
