It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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