Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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