I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
