at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
